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Gather ‘Round the Table By Belinda J. Mooney Its dinnertime and the kids are going in and out faster than you can count them. This one has soccer practice, Dad has a meeting and the teen-ager has a date. Fast food is high on the priority list, or a sandwich thrown together and eaten on the run. Mom may even be skipping a meal in order to get every one where they need to be. Even if you did prepare a meal, everyone will eat at different times. Sound familiar? It should – that is the typical scenario for many households these days. Our fast paced lives leave us little time for meals that are shared with everyone in the family. But eating together regularly can be a wonderful source of family time, a way of slowing down and keeping a family in contact during a hectic week. If your family is hungry for good old fashioned dinner on the table time, here are some ideas for helping your family gather round the table and why it is important. Regular Meal Times Provide Stability. Kids need schedules and routine. They need thing to be in order and to know ahead of time what is going to happen. It helps them feel loved and secure in a crazy world. Having a regular mealtime, same time each evening, can be very important. Even if your main course is pizza, try and eat at the same time as often as possible. If it just isn’t possible every night – try for at least three to four nights a week. If you can’t do dinner everyday try for breakfast or lunch, whatever time frame gets all the gang there at the same time. Another good reason to get everyone to the table is the fact that families who eat together regularly are less likely to have children with eating disorders, such as anorexia, and other problems. They learn good eating habits from their parents and the parents know what’s going on in their lives. They see mom or dad preparing meals and eating right, not gobbling down fast food or binging on junk food. Meals prepared regularly are usually much healthier than high calorie, low nutrition drive through food. “Kids who
eat together with their parents enjoy more than satiety for their hunger; their
appetite for nurturance, sharing of life experiences and feelings, and for
learning to communicate and form substantive family bonds is also satisfied at
the family meal. These children enjoy an appreciation of relaxed time together,
companionship, and a breather from hurried living. Mealtimes are a well
deserved island in time and space for refueling physically and emotionally,”
says Abigail H. Natenshon, MA, LCSW Need still another reason? Try this one - according to the Teen Survey, conducted by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA), children who have regular meal times are less likely to smoke, drink or use drugs. Is it because of the fried chicken and coleslaw you are serving? Not hardly. It’s because you are involved and are spending time with them. Eating Together Encourages Communication If your sharing a meal, you are most likely talking while you eat. Kids will often share things and talk casually while relaxing to dinner. It’s a time to unwind and discuss the day’s events. Use this time to check up on what’s going on in their lives, encourage them and compare schedules. Find out the latest classroom gossip or just what’s playing at the movies. The subject won’t matter as much as the fact that you are taking time to visit with one another. Author Jorj Morgan shares these tips, “I recommend that families turn off the television, cell phones, beepers and pagers during mealtime. None of us are that important that waiting a few minutes to return a call is not be acceptable. Mealtime should be discussion time - just the good stuff - what happened today at work, who won the game after school, what's for homework, or how is Jane's cold. Save the heavy discussions for after the meal - full tummies are less feisty! It Relieves Stress There is something just totally relaxing about sitting around the table with friends and family sharing a good meal. Good food doesn’t have to be fancy food. It can be peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or a big pot of homemade soup. Sharing, talking, taking the time to eat is a great stress reliever. Making your kids be in for dinner forces them to slow down and catch up with the day. To really get them talking and relaxing, cook together! Everyone loves to eat what they have cooked themselves and being in the kitchen together can be a wonderful way to spend time talking with your kids. Jennifer Keitt, The Marriage and Family Enrichment Coach, encourages families to get everyone involved, from the littlest child to Dad. Her family cooks together on Saturdays for the upcoming week. It’s Just Plain Fun! Pull up the chairs, serve up the casserole and have a good laugh or two with everyone. Make diner time fun and even the teens will be looking forward to the evening time together. Not every meal will be a rollicking riot but you can plan special times. Have a Souper Sunday once a month, or Wacky Wednesday, where you eat breakfast foods instead of supper. Assign each child a day of the week and let them plan the menu for that day. Even the toddler can get in on the fun, although it might mean macaroni and cheese. Ice cream sundaes and cupcakes can be made or decorated by even the littlest munchers. Decorate the tables with flowers or bright colors. Use a theme like Mexican or Italian night. Get creative! Let the kids have friends over and pick the theme. Eat outside if the weather is nice. If it’s the middle of winter, have a picnic on the living room floor. But most of all simply take the time to eat together. Neither you nor your children will regret the time and energy put into making mealtime a time to gather ‘round the table.
Sidebar: Tips for Making Mealtimes Easier
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Copyright Belinda Mooney 2005 |